Random

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I Still Want To Blog

Published November 25, 2017 by wackybrittany

I still want to write on my blog, but I’m having a hard time thinking of things to talk about. I don’t really want to look up writing prompts. That just feels weird to me. 

Any time lately I’ve been thinkimg about writing on my blog it’s to complain about something. That would get boring to write about and for people to read.

Random thought: I finally have the wordpress app on my phone. Hopefully that will be a good start for me to pickup writing on my blog again. Also, I’m hoping it’ll help me get more into reading other people’s blogs.

All that I know is retail work is kicking my butt. At least working in a large retail store. I have been working for Walmart for over a year now. Every shift I work I’m always so tired. Because of being so tired and because my hands and wrists hurt a lot of the time I havnt had the chance to crochet or do any crafts. I miss them so much.

Anyway..this post is kind of rambly. Thanks for reading!

-Brittany

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Ugh

Published April 18, 2017 by wackybrittany

Ugh, just ugh. Lately everything just feels yucky. No I’m not sick, but I feel emotionally yucky, which has been making me exhausted all the time.

Warning, this is a rant about how frustrated and tired I am right now about stuff in my life.

For the first few months of working I was so focused on not messing up, (which I still did), at work that I was able to block out the noise. Now that I don’t feel like I have to focus so hard I can hear most everything around me all at once. It was as if one day I started to hear everything all at once. Not just at work, but everywhere around me. It was as if someone pushed a button and all the noise came all at once.

I mentioned in a previous blog post, (that I deleted), that I’m on the Autism Spectrum. My learning disability, PDD, was put onto the spectrum a few years ago. Here is a link that I found that describes PDD a little more, and the part of being on the Autism Spectrum. https://www.autismspeaks.org/what-autism/pdd-nos

I am working because Social Security has decided that I am no longer considered disabled enough to stay on Social Security. Unfortunately, when going through the process of being re-evaluated last year I only really knew about having a learning disability and that it has a name. On the paperwork I only put that I have a learning disability, I never put that it’s PDD. I didn’t find out about the Autism Spectrum until after I had the evaluations done to see if I’m still disabled. I would think that they would go through ALL of the paperwork since childhood and see what my learning disability is. I figured they would go through the file of the psychologist that I saw in 2012 or 2013 who said my condition will not improve. Apparently not. 

It’s frustrating because I have a hard time talking about my needs, talking about my disability, talking about what I can or can’t do. When I start to think about such things I get overwhelmed and I start to shut down.

Now, it’s become more difficult for me to work because it’s usually loud. Not usually a constant loud, but loud most of the time. I also don’t like how there are a lot of people everywhere all at once mixed with the noise. It’s so overwhelming that all I want to do is shit down and cry.

Why am I working retail if it’s too noisy? Or too much to handle? Why not get a different job? Well, for one I don’t have a degree to get a better job. Another reason is not very many places don’t require multitasking or having to interact with people. Lastly, I don’t have any other job skills or experience for most other jobs. I’m bad at cleaning, pushing carts, washing dishes, and I cook ALL my meals in the microwave because cooking gives me anxiety. 

I am also not wanting to look for online work because most everything online that I’ve come across is a scam. I can’t run an Etsy shop fully for an income. My Squishbelly Etsy shop failed. I wouldn’t be able to figure out how to do taxes for a business.

I found a pretty good video on YouTube that shows what it’s like for me when I hear the world on a daily basis. It says children with Autism, but it also goes for adults. https://youtu.be/M20DIK1Yt3A

I would like for you to watch that video, then come back and finish reading this. This is why when I’m working and there is a lot going on and someone tries to talk to me I stare at them. I can’t hear their words. The words get muffled and come in and out. It makes me want to cry. It is the reason why I HAVE to wear headphones and listen to music on the bus to cope. This is why I don’t like going to parties, I prefer to stay at home, or a friend’s home, and not go out into public often. It sucks.

Keep in mind though, this is my experience with my Autism. It will be different for other people with Autism.

Thank you for reading my long rant. Have a good day!

-Brittany

Merry Christmas!

Published December 26, 2016 by wackybrittany

Merry Christmas to those who celebrate Christmas! Happy Holidays who celebrate other holidays!

I am at my mom’s celebrating Christmas with my family. We’re having a good time.
Non Christmas related stuff:

Phew! The holidays have been crazy for me. It felt like all I did was go to work, go home and go to bed, and repeat. I was scheduled 30+ hours a week. I had one day of being completely lazy, on a snow day, but that was it. On other days I didn’t work I saw friends, but that only happened a couple of times.

I’m hoping that since my hours will be dropping I’ll be able to have more time for my Etsy shop. I still want to run my shop. Something I’ve learned about running my shop is to make my items, then sell them. Don’t do made to order, that is much more difficult to do.

I am trying a new craft and I’m hoping to be able to start making and selling items from that.

I got an A in my ASL class and a B in my writing class. Next term I’ll be taking ASL 202, Reading 115, and Math I think 60 something..

Thank you for reading my random ramblings. Take care!

-Brittany

´╗┐Forgot To Post In September

Published October 2, 2016 by wackybrittany

I didn’t make a blog post in September. Oops.

September was super busy for me. Everyday I had something going on. Appointments, friends wanting to hang out, I’m going to be in my friend’s wedding so I had to get alterations done, crocheting, it just was super busy. 

Not to mention that I accidentally left my iPad charger at my friend’s house, so I can’t use my iPad as much. I only get to charge it at my moms and I’m usually only there once a week for family day. That’s important because I only write my blog posts on the WordPress app on my iPad.
School also started September 26th. I am on campus twice a week and have an online class. I’m full time student again. It’s even more difficult to schedule time to see people in between classes and have time to do homework.

I noticed something. A lot of the times when I made a blog post I would do it when I was on the bus to or from school, or when I was trying to procrastinate a little more on doing homework. That’s not a good habit to get into because I felt I had less of a reason to post during the summer because I wasn’t commuting or procrastinating on homework.

I still want to keep up with my blog, I really do. I just need to do a better job at it.

Anyway, thank you for reading. Take care!
-Brittany

The Calm After The Storm

Published August 26, 2016 by wackybrittany

It’s been a couple of days after the incident, but my neighbor is doing a little bit better. His eye is more black, but less swollen. He is kind of achy and a few bruises has shown up on his elbow and arm. Surprisingly he doesn’t have a bruise on his back.

I’ve been keeping him company for the past couple of days. We finally have started to go back to a somewhat normal life, as much as possible.

Weekly Photo Challenge – Partners

Published June 30, 2016 by wackybrittany

This week’s photo challenge is Partners. This was a little difficult for me. I had no clue what to choose. A picture if my boyfriend and I? A picture of my brother and myself? I really wanted a picture of my brother and his new therapy dog, but I didn’t manage to get one of those. I won’t be seeing them for a few more days, and I feel it would’ve been a forced picture since he’s still apprehensive about her.

I chose this picture. I’m not sure it really shows partnership in the traditional way, but I really like this picture, so I’ll swing with it. I was on a small family trip to go get my younger brother a therapy dog. The trip was a total of four hours long, there and back. I was sitting right next to him in the van. On our way there Joseph, my younger brother, randomly reaches his hand over and for a brief moment we held hands.  I’m glad I took this picture because it’s rare that he reaches out like this to hold hands. I live for precious moments like this. He isn’t one for too much affection, or to reach out and be interactive with people unless he wants something.